pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize