Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
