Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
