I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
