I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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