My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
