Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
