My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
