Dual....:-)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
