Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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