i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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