i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
