I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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