I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
