just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
this hospital has no fireball
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
