it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
