I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
