There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
