A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
