Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
