Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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