Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
