Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
