lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
