im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize