The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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