tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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