how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
