"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
now i know why i became what i already was.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
