I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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