if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
