SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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