Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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