It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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