If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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