i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize