I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
