You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
