see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
