Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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