My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
