So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
