either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
