You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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