Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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