is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
