OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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