Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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