I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
