i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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