Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize