google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
