it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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