Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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