sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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