brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
