Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
