I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
