Soap is not a condiment
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
